Drifting
by JasonBall34
Summary: After The Fowl Twins, Artemis is in space, wondering where his life is going. Eventually, he realizes his destination isn't the red planet, but the red-haired elf. Rated T to be safe. My first upload. Firmly an Artemis and Holly romance, so stay away if that's not your jam. Spoilers for The Fowl Twins within. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Space**

Artemis sighed, slumping back in the pilot's seat of the Interstellar. Such casual and undignified body language was usually beneath him, but he simply had no other way to process the stress right now. Speaking of things that were usually beneath him, Artemis had forgotten once again that he was in space, so the attempted slump turned into an even more undignified bouncing up and down in his seat. His motion had triggered an equal and opposite reaction, his seat's restraint belt in front of his chest working together with the seat itself behind him to shake him to and fro, thanks to his sudden downward movement in zero-gravity. "Stupid," he muttered, gripping the sides of the seat to cease his jockeying. Hopefully he hadn't bruised himself.

"Surely you don't refer to yourself," came a low, slightly bemused voice from behind the pilot's seat.

Artemis about jumped out of his seat. He would have been able to, were it not for the safety belt holding him down. Unfortunately, his startled reaction started his bobbing up and down even worse than before. "Butler!" he sighed, halting his momentum with great effort once again. "Naturally, I wasn't referring to myself. But you mustn't do that to me. Cardiac arrest in outer space is an affliction that I do not wish to be the first victim of."

"Sorry. It's just too easy to sneak around when you don't have to make footfalls to get anywhere." Butler came forward through the cockpit, strapping himself down in the co-pilot seat. The term used to describe the secondary seat was merely traditional, for the enormous man had not been doing any co-piloting, nor did he intend to. The workings of the spacecraft were far beyond Butler's own technical skill.

"Your newfound and mildly unsettling ability to enter rooms even more stealthily than before is most interesting, but I seem to have a problem."

"That's troubling, coming from you. Are we in danger?"

"No physical danger, I'm afraid." Artemis waved his hand melodramatically. "I refer to problems of the soul."

Butler winced. "That's worse, all right."

"Yes, see?" Artemis sighed again.

"Not really. You haven't told me what the problem is." Butler studied the profile of Artemis' face, which was all that was available to him. Artemis preferred to not make eye contact when discussing something difficult.

"Surely you're smart enough to know, old friend."

"Oh, believe me, I have a good list of things that could be the problem you're referring to."

Artemis scowled, finally turning to face the mountain of a man in the seat next to him. "A _good list_? I presume, then, you simply need me to narrow it down a touch? Shall I sell you a vowel?"

"How about an H?"

Artemis, his face twitching at the implication, immediately turned back to stare out into space, literally. "That's not a vowel," he offered lamely.

Butler put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I can't help but notice that it's the 6-month mark."

Artemis forgot his worries for a second, curious. "You're keeping track, too?"

"Oh, not at all. I simply couldn't help but overhear you bragging to everyone you know back home of the milestone." He allowed himself a chuckle, then went serious again. "Everyone except for _her_, that is."

Artemis tried to throw up his usual façade of blamelessness. "Well, she's a busy elf this past week. I got her voicemail. It's not my fault."

Butler snorted in a way that, if you didn't know any better, could be called judgmental. "Shall we test that logic?"

Artemis, offended, turned back once more, to face down his bodyguard in this battle of logic. "Yes, let's. It is one hundred per cent not my fault that my brothers did what they did. I'm millions of miles away, therefore unable to take part. QED, not my fault that Holly is too busy cleaning up my brothers' mess to take a call today." He crossed his arms in triumph.

Butler wagged a finger. "And who's the one that got them exposed to the fairy folk in the first place? If you hadn't had your misadventures with them over the years, your brothers would be completely oblivious to their existence, and unable to make the mess they did and almost get themselves permanently killed."

Artemis pinched his brow. "Butler, think. My brothers wouldn't even _exist_ if I hadn't had my dealings with the People."

Butler pondered this. "Alright. Fair point. But not the point."

Artemis groaned. "And what, precisely, is the point, then?"

"You could've tried harder to reach her today."

A silence fell over them then. Artemis gathered his thoughts, and Butler knew when to let him. The young genius started slowly nodding after a few minutes, and said with great effort: "I concur." He looked into his father figure's eyes with a forlorn expression he hadn't worn since he had decided to undergo the space mission in the first place. "Butler, old friend. I believe my mission is a failure."

Butler understood exactly what he was talking about, but waited for further elaboration.

"Not only have I failed my mission, but I now believe my initial intent in departing the planet to be of utmost foolishness. Stupid." And this time, he was ready to admit he was referring to himself.

* * *

**Haven City**

Holly Short slouched in her office chair, and thought she was going to throw up if she had to lick any more envelopes. This week had been the worst of her time as commodore yet. And yet, in a way, it was also the best. Cleaning up after the 9th documented Fowl incident in 15 years (not counting the incident with the tiara) was strangely nostalgic. Unfortunately for her promoted self, this also meant a hell of a lot more paperwork and letters to the Council than she had had to deal with before. Now she really understood why Root had been so uptight about these kinds of things. And why he had been uptight in general.

Foaly suddenly buzzed her office, and started talking on loudspeaker before she could even accept the call. She supposed he wanted to make sure she didn't just ignore the call, which, to be fair, she would have been tempted to do. "Hey, did you remember to write the letter about my budget?" he whinnied.

"You wanted it to go down, right?" she ground out.

"What? No!"

"Then push the End Call button before I storm down the hall and push it with your face!"

The call disconnected abruptly, and she felt a little guilt for treating her friend so harshly. But then it rang again, and the guilt went away. She slammed the Accept button, and before the centaur could say anything, she shouted: "I guess it's going down, pony boy!"

"Uh, wrong number?" came the Irish-accented voice from the speaker.

"Oh! Artemis!" she panicked, sitting bolt upright for some reason. "Sorry, I thought you were Foaly! He's been driving me crazy today."

She could almost hear her human friend's eyebrow raising. "Well," he began, "If that's how you answer calls to your friends, I'd hate to be your enemy."

She relaxed back into her previous slouch, licking the envelope that contained Foaly's budget request. "As I recall, that never worked out so well."

"No," thought Artemis aloud. "It most certainly did not."

Holly winced at what she was about to say, but it had to be said. "Arty, I'm sorry, but I'm kind of in the middle of some things here."

Artemis sighed regretfully. The audio quality was fantastic. In most calls made with human equipment, a sigh would come across as a harsh crackling sound. His superluminal communication system he'd perfected during his voyage really was perfect. Foaly had already both subtly and not-so-subtly asked her a dozen times to get the schematics from Fowl. Out of pure curiosity, of course, and having nothing to do with patents. Anyways, Artemis had sighed. "Actually, Holly, it is rather imperative that I speak to you at some length now."

Holly perked up. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, not materialistically, no."

"You know you're going to have to elaborate on that, right?" she chuckled. Foaly and Fowl both had a way with words, that was for sure. She decided she could use a break from paperwork to listen to some of them, so she put her feet up and cracked her knuckles. "What's up?"

"Do you have video call capability at the moment?"

Alarm bells went off in her head. He hadn't asked for that in the entire time he's been off-world. "Yeah, yeah I do. Hang on." She put her feet back down and unconsciously straightened her lapel before flicking the switch. "Can you see me?"

Artemis' image appeared on her primary monitor in all its plasma-screen glory. His face was covered in stubble of decent length, and bags were well-formed under his eyes. It may have been the most color she'd ever seen on his face. His command of language was as vibrant as ever, too. "Your visage is indeed before mine eyes."

"Arty, you look terrible."

"I take it my image is also transmitting," he said with some disdain. "I can assure you, you look none the…" he trailed off. He had automatically come up with a usual retort, but his heart wasn't in it today. "You look beautiful, Holly. I think I'm coming back, by the way."

Holly about fell out of her chair. "Slow down there, mud man. There's a lot to unpack here."

Artemis affirmed with his head. That is to say, he nodded. "Last week, when you called to tell me about my brothers and their situation, it… brought back a lot of memories. Memories I'd been… trying to move on from. By exploring another planet. But my mission failed. I think I'm going to turn around."

Holly's face was lined with worry. She could see in his face that he was struggling to get through every word, and it wasn't an effect of screen tearing. "Artemis, what are you talking about, exactly?" She had a feeling in her stomach that she hadn't felt in years, albeit also in Artemis' presence. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I need to know something before I make the decision to turn around."

She shifted, suddenly and irrationally uncomfortable in her deluxe office chair.

"I need to know if it'll be worth it."

Her heart thought it knew where he was going with this, but her rational mind tried one last time to prove herself wrong. "Well, you've made a lot of scientific discoveries out there. How much fuel you have, how far out you are, how difficult it will be to re-enter the atmosphere… I can't say if it's worth it."

Artemis nodded thoughtfully, and appeared to go on a tangent. "This is one of the benefits of video call. As you may recall, I earned the title of _Doctor_ in recent years. I'm sure our good friend Dr. Argon would also agree on this next point."

Holly's face dropped into one of her most dumbfounded expressions. "_Huh_?"

"Eyes are windows into the soul, my dearest Holly. I return in three weeks."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author notes:**

I was floored by the several positive comments I received on my first-ever uploaded piece. I had fully intended it to be a one-shot to test the waters, but I was encouraged to continue it by friends and internet strangers alike. So, here you go! This fandom will be revived, if it's the last thing I do! I'm shooting for a five-chapter story. Further positive comments would mean the world to me, and motivate me to finish the story. Of course, this fic will be completely contradicted once the next novel comes out, as I can't see Artemis returning at all in the near future in canon, but this will be fun while it lasts.

Also: this fic contains several references to the official Artemis-centric short story Luna Minor found only in one of the hardback UK editions of The Fowl Twins. The fic is perfectly readable without having read that short story, but I recommend everyone support the industry and the author by considering purchasing that edition, or asking for it for holiday. The short story is amazing for longtime fans. The UK edition also has a surprising amount of differences from the US version within the main text, and is the superior reading experience.

Without further ado, chapter 2:

* * *

**Space**

Alone with his thoughts, Artemis stroked his jaw, finding the sensation of the stubble scraping on his palm to be uniquely relaxing. It reminded him of a time, close to a decade ago now, that he had also had inconvenient prominent facial hair. The various memories of that time, high and low, still kept him up at night.

He pondered the time that had passed since then, and how he had spent it. Not exactly wisely, as it happened. Many months had been spent going insane at the manor, creating an ice cube, followed by six months of intensive psychological care to reverse the damage, followed by six months of being dead. Then, many months of mental, physical and occupational therapy to recover from said deadness.

However, not all of the decade that had passed since the time paradox had been wasted or seen him incapacitated. He had spent a good three years focused on the climate after his resurrection, earning him the prestigious, if somewhat pretentious, Man of the Year award. He had also gotten the title of _doctor _from multiple honoured institutions. This confirmed his long-standing assertion that he was somewhat intelligent.

Most recently, he had been in this cramped rocketship for six months. Naturally, the cramped interior was not his fault, as his designs were always flawless. It was simply the laws of physics that had dictated the most efficient possible design. At the time, it hadn't seemed cramped. At the time, it had been an escape…

* * *

**Fowl Manor, six months ago**

Artemis wiped sweat from his brow, disgusted with his own pores. He was making the last modifications to his revolutionary self-winding rocket in the family barn. It was an unseasonably warm day in Ireland, and Artemis looked forward to his five-year mission if only for the fact that he'd get to spend every second of it in climate-controlled suits and interiors.

He restarted his electric drill, attempting to attach a golden plaque to the side of the rocket. The noise it made covered the soft sound of mechanical wings, followed by footsteps alighting on the grass outside, and also the sound of the barn door behind him opening a crack.

He stopped his drilling to blow metal filings from the plaque. "It's nice to see that you're putting my gold to good use," came a bemused voice from behind the Irishman.

Artemis started, and dropped the drill onto his foot with all the grace of Beckett performing open-heart surgery. He immediately forgot the pain, though. "Holly!" he shouted, whirling around to see his friend, for of course it was she, standing in the barn doorway. "I thought you couldn't get clearance," he noted, gesturing to his dirty work clothes. "If I had known-"

"Then it wouldn't have been a surprise, mud boy," she finished, reaching her arms out for a hug. She smiled, happy to see him.

Artemis knelt down to oblige. "Mud man, I believe," he remarked, holding her close.

When Holly pulled out of the hug, she smirked. "Don't get cocky, Fowl. Where I'm from, 21 is still primary school."

Artemis returned the smirk. "Good thing I'm actually closer to 25. Resurrections and time-travel, no?"

Holly lightly punched his shoulder. "Congrats Arty, you've finally made it to secondary school."

They stayed there for a long moment, arms awkwardly at their sides, him kneeling, her standing. They both searched each other's eyes for the right words. Eventually, Artemis started to lose his balance, kneeling as he was, and quickly stood up so as to avoid further embarrassment.

Holly coughed, and swung her arms casually as she walked around to inspect the rocket. "Where's Butler? Seems like you could have used his help."

Artemis ignored the jab at his craftsmanship, and cleared his throat. "In a meeting with Father and my brothers. They're discussing security options at Villa Éco. The big move is next week." He watched her face closely, gauging her reaction to the rocket's design.

She nodded slightly at the news. "It's prettier in person."

Artemis folded his hands behind his back, and casually followed her around the barn. "Yes, it's quite a picturesque beachfront. You've been there?"

She looked back and up at him with confusion. "No, silly, the rocket. It's nice."

"Ah. I see." They resumed their slow orbit of the craft. "I don't suppose that would have anything to do with the gold trim?"

She stopped her steps, and gazed to the very top of the ship, where the nosecone was plated with gold. The light from the barn's windows caught her mesmerized eyes. "That's preposterous," she lied.

Artemis slyly smiled, and pointed her to the golden plaque he had just attached. "Note, if you will, the commemorative words I have inscribed."

Holly frowned. "You know I can't read that from down here."

Artemis grinned. "Shall I give you a boost, or perhaps find you a box?"

Holly glared daggers at him. "Not on your life," she muttered, and activated instead her suit's wings, ascending the necessary metre and a half, to study the reflective plaque. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you placed it this high on purpose."

Artemis stepped back so as not to get clipped by a rapidly fluttering wing, and waited for her to read it.

"Oh," she said. "It's in both English and Gnommish." The simple gesture touched her.

Artemis held his hands behind his back, waiting.

Holly gasped. "Arty…" she breathed. "This is magical."

"As are you, Commodore," he stated, as if it were the most essential fact in the universe.

She read the words on the plaque aloud, for added effect. "Interstellar. Dedicated to the one who fixed me when I was but a broken boy. I reach for the stars now."

Holly turned to face him, to find him staring sheepishly down at the floor. She touched down again, and her wings folded up. She walked right into his downward-facing line of sight, and looked up at him. "Why?" she asked breathlessly.

He finally made eye contact with the elf standing not a metre in front of him. "It seemed like a nice thing to put on a plaque."

Holly rolled her watery eyes. "Not that, genius. Why are you leaving?"

Artemis looked away from her, and dodged. "Mars holds many secrets. I intend to find them out. For science." Guilt racked his features.

"We both know that's not the real reason. You're speaking in two-word sentences, Arty," she chided. The way his face flickered when she used _Arty _was not lost on her. "Get a grip."

He spun his head back to face her, backpedaling in both the physical and argumentative way. "I _am _getting a grip. This is my grip. Look. Behold. A spacecraft!" He gestured to the spacecraft.

Holly shook her head, knowing she had found the loose stone in the brickwork. "You're now down to one-word sentences. And, yes, I can see the bloody spacecraft, thank you very much. But normal people do not _build spacecrafts _and launch themselves into _space _when they don't want to talk about their feelings." She emphasized each clause with a firm poke in his ribs.

Artemis flailed his arms. "Well, I'm not normal!" he spluttered. "Is that so bad?!"

Holly threw her arms up, staring at his contorting face defiantly. "You know damn well I don't mind that you're abnormal! It's the reason I even have these... _feelings_ in the first place!"

They both stood stock still at that, not daring to breathe. They stared at each other. Holly looked pale. Artemis looked... paler than usual. A million thoughts raced through their heads.

Holly slowly scratched her head, trying to come up with something. Artemis raised a finger to clarify what she had meant, but she interjected: "What I mean is, it's one of the reasons I kind of, sort of like you, mud man," she attempted.

Artemis, surprisingly, relaxed, exhaling slowly, placing his hands into his pockets. "See?" he shrugged. "See why I'm going? It could never work. If our first instinct when this topic comes up is to deny it, it's foolhardy to try. It's only logical. We have to move on."

Holly sighed. "Maybe true, but I think you're overlooking something, Arty."

"And what would that be?" He was curious. He noted to himself then, that if someone had said that sentence to him before he'd met her, he'd have had Butler introduce them to his fist.

"That's not my first instinct." She looked at him, sadness apparent in her mismatched eyes.

Artemis gulped, and collected his thoughts. He hadn't spent hundreds of thousands on this project for nothing. Now was the time for resolve. For her sake. The lifespan difference. The biological and social implications. Their families and friends, and their careers. He spoke. "I believe that, in that case, it is even more reason to leave. My years spent pursuing the climate and my PhDs had the unfortunate requirement of my being on the planet. We couldn't move on. But Holly, for all of our sakes, it's what we have to do. Some odds are simply insurmountable, even for us."

Holly cast her eyes to her boots, and spent a spell thinking as well. The man had a point. He always did. She nodded, finding a middle ground. "Julius once told me that I had to take a promotion… not for myself, but for the People." With great effort, she raised her eyes back toward Artemis'. "And now look at me. I'm Commodore Short. I did it."

Artemis smiled reassuringly. "Do you think you can do it again? Put the People first?"

"It depends… is continuing to be friends too much to ask for?" The emotion in her eyes gave him the feeling that a lot more was riding on that question than, well, meets the eye.

Artemis considered. It didn't take long. He shook his head. "It is not. In fact, it would be my honour to continue to be your friend. As I venture out into space, when I make reports of my discoveries, perhaps you could be my liaison officer. 'Ambassador Short, Fowl Affairs.' Reporting to the People all that I find in the solar system."

"Daily updates on which tube of goop you're having for dinner is something the People sorely do not need," she chuckled. "But I'd be honoured to be your direct line. Though that position title needs some work. It will never fly with the Council."

"When you looked at the schematics for this ship," he reminded her, "you said _it_ would never fly."

Holly gestured to the floor. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it still hasn't flown yet, flyboy."

"And yet it must."

Holly looked intently from the ship to the human, and back again, and then back once more. Their eyes met, and, as usual, it was as if the world had slowed down.

She broke the awkward silence with an awkward statement. "I can't convince you to stay, then."

Artemis sighed, acknowledging to himself that he tended to do that a lot in her presence. "It's for the greater good, Holly. There really are important discoveries to be made out there. And whenever our feelings would come up in these years past, we'd always arrive at the same conclusion. To stay would cause too much temptation to do something we'd regret."

Holly scowled. "Don't presume to speak for me."

Artemis took a deep breath. "You're right. I can only speak for myself. I care very deeply for you, Holly. And _that_ is why I can not stay here."

More silence. And yet, their silence always seemed to speak volumes more than their words.

Holly spoke softly. "I know, Arty. The same way I know it's impossible to change your mind on anything."

"It's the right thing to do, Holly."

"We'll be in touch, right?"

"What did I say? Fowl and Fairy, friends forever," he recited, smiling. "You're my liaison officer, remember? I'm going to be calling you constantly, to tell you about my brilliant discoveries and exploits. It'll be just like always."

They laughed, and then Artemis' phone buzzed. Holly motioned for him to check it.

He frowned. "Father has texted. He wants my input on a new AI interface system that will be protecting my brothers." Then he looked up, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I believe I've had an idea about it."

Holly cocked her head, suspicious. "Define _idea_."

Artemis waffled. "You'll see."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, then."

"For five years, at least. A mere blink of an eye to a fairy, no?"

She chuckled. "Then I'll never have to live this down." And with that, Holly activated her doubledex wings, ascended to Artemis' level, and kissed him. It was short but sweet. And then she was gone, flying, escaping out a high-up barn window.

_No, not escaping, _he had thought. _I'm setting her free._

* * *

**Space, now**

At the memory, Artemis felt his lips tingling where Holly had kissed him last. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing, going back. But with a certain recent development, one of his biggest obstacles may have finally been eliminated. With that, the rest was workable.

His thoughts were interrupted when the hatch into the cabin opened with a hiss, and Butler floated in from the adjacent compartment. "How did your phone call go?"

Artemis stalled the real question, as this was his lifelong hobby whenever he heard an uneducated statement. "It's not a phone call, Butler. I spent dozens of hours and thousands of euros engineering a system that allows faster-than-light transmissions. For the first time in human history, people can have real-time conversations when in fact they are some many light-hours away."

"I see," lied Butler. "Does it come with a phone book?"

Artemis remembered his situation, and so suppressed his wit for the moment. He was still wasting time, every second that the rocket travelled away from Earth. "To answer your question, it went well. I saw what I had hoped for in her eyes, her reactions to my words. I had to be brief, though. The meat and potatoes of the conversation, so to speak, well, I wish to have those discussions in person."

Butler frowned. "How can you be so sure she reacted the way you hope she did? I remember raising a boy who wasn't the most keen at social studies."

"I was keen in every subject, just ask the registrar that I bribed." Artemis winked. "Regardless, I am sure. Holly's eyes are easy to read, because, as you may recall, one of them was once mine."

Butler nodded. "Just a few months ago, you were considering extending our mission indefinitely. What's changed?"

Artemis couldn't be sure. "Part of it is that I was reminded very strongly of my past, when I was apprised last week of the situation with my brothers. Another part of it is that there's been a breakthrough."

"And what's the last part?"

Artemis considered. "I'm not certain, old friend. I built this ship to get away from my thoughts. Unfortunately though, it seems only to have given me more time to ruminate on them."

"So, we're turning around, then?"

Artemis shook his head. His hair was sluggish to follow, whipping around slowly in the zero gravity. "Not just yet. I have to make absolutely sure that mankind's quintessential threat is one that I finally have the means to surpass." His face was one of hope. And then, at Butler's confusion, humour. "In other words, I have one more phone call to make."


	3. Chapter 3

**Villa Éco**

When Myles received the notification from Nanni that Artemis was calling, he was already at his computer. This made the decision to accept the video call much easier.

"Good evening, Doctor Fowl." Myles nodded curtly at the video screen. "I take it your opting to utilize video as well as audio indicates a subject of some importance."

"It does," replied Artemis. Usually, Artemis protested to Myles' use of his title, but apparently the elder Fowl had bigger concerns, today.

"That will be a nice change of pace, then." Honestly. The doctor could drone for minutes at a time about the most mundane things. Like pebbles in space.

Artemis frowned on the screen. "Yes, well, as you must know, different individuals find different topics to be important. Though from what I have been told of your exploits this past week, we are on the same page in this case."

Myles conceded the point by casting his eyes ever so slightly downward. "Very well. Proceed."

"I hear that your situation was caused in no small part by a duke's desire to extend his lifespan."

Myles perked up. This was indeed of utmost interest to him. So, he had to be sure he wouldn't be caught violating probation, so to speak. "For hypothetical's sake, let us proceed under the assumption that this is a topic which I have interest in," Myles said, "And that, consequently, I do not wish others to hear of it. If this were the case, one would wonder as to the strength of your encryption software in the Interstellar's communication hub."

Artemis smirked, unphased. Myles found his older brother's confidence comforting, though of course no living soul must ever know this. "Believe me," began the older Fowl. "I had the same thought. So I designed a new system expressly for this conversation last night as I slept. I personally installed it into the AE-35 unit this morning. Tell me what you know about the viability of Lord Teddy's ambitions vis-à-vis extended lifespan."

Artemis had proceeded directly to the point, for once. How refreshing. Myles cracked his knuckles. "To put it in layman's terms-"

"There's no need for that," Artemis interrupted. "It's just us."

Myles confirmed with his glasses that Beck was indeed on the beach reading out loud to a seagull some mundane book about pigeons and buses. None of the house's security systems were detecting the presence of shielded fairies. "Very well. I believe that the duke's ambitions are irrefutably achievable, and not only that, but with some amount of honing, I believe the method is also consistently repeatable."

On the screen, Artemis nodded approvingly. "I heard from the LEP that the primary agent is troll venom. Is that safe? And, also important: does it require harming the troll?"

Myles nodded. "I understand your concerns. However, with some work, the troll venom can be extracted without harming the subject, and, as you well know, penicillin was derived from mold, something that is ordinarily unhealthy. And yet it is life-saving. I believe the same shall come to pass with this situation."

"Good," replied Artemis. Something in his voice seemed unusually hopeful, raw, as if this were a matter of life and death to Artemis. Myles chalked this up to the fact that it was literally a matter of extended life and/or death. A fellow like Artemis couldn't be blamed for being in awe of the subject. "How many years do you project we can extend lifespans by?"

Myles had anticipated this query. "I can say with complete confidence that the human lifespan is extendable to at least 200 years. The duke in question had already achieved 150 though stone age methods. In addition, via my digital information leverage, or, as the world governments call it, 'hacking,' over the past two days, I have uncovered evidence that the duke had previously located a specimen of human life in the four to five hundred year age range."

Artemis gasped. Obviously, he was taken aback by Myles' brilliant hacking skills.

Myles paused, noticing what appeared to be moisture gathering in his brother's eyes. Odd. If Artemis were sick, that could be a problem. "Is there a glitch in the AE-35 unit, Doctor? Your face appears moist."

Artemis ducked out of view for a count of three, and reappeared with dry eyes once more. "Negative, brother mine. My eyes, and the communication hub, are fine. It was simply due to Butler, adjusting the humidity controls unbidden. All is well. This news is monumental."

Myles nodded understandingly at the humidity situation. His own permanent companion was all too fond of adjusting climate controls without permission or consultation. It was most undesirable, especially when attempting to conduct scientific experiments that required precise atmospheric settings. What's worse, it could give Myles migraines. "Acknowledged. Might I inquire as to your sudden interest in expanding your lifespan? Spending five years in space is certainly not consistent with that goal. Has something changed?"

Artemis breathed deeply, apparently collecting his thoughts. Shameful. A Fowl should always know what to say in any situation. "Yes, Myles," said Artemis. "Something has changed. When I was told about the potentially centennial duke you encountered, an old, abandoned aspiration of mine suddenly became viable again."

Myles approved. "I approve," he said. "That is most scientific of you, brother. Allowing new information to bring old projects to the forefront again, that you had previously filed away until further progress was made in a certain area."

Artemis shrugged, a most un-scientific, casual gesture that Myles disapproved of. Oh, well. Not everyone was perfect like Myles. "Well, it's the truth," explained Artemis. "And then, with the possibility on the table, I called an old associate to see if they were still interested in the venture."

Myles frowned. "An associate? I pass no judgement on your company as yet, brother, but historically speaking, yours and Father's associates have both tended towards the unfriendly."

"Trust me, brother," replied Artemis, smiling fondly. "This associate is one I trust with my life."

Myles peered suspiciously at Artemis' image on the screen. "We have very few of those."

"And this is not something to be proud of, Myles. But you'll understand when you're older."

Myles was outraged. "I am outraged!" he protested. "There is nothing I am currently incapable of understanding. My intelligence surpasses one hundred per cent of people both older and younger than myself."

Artemis laughed. "On the planet currently, maybe. But remember, not everyone is on the planet."

Myles felt betrayed. "Mother once told me that she thought I was the most intelligent person to exist. Surely that included you."

Artemis appeared to consider what he was about to say (more proof he was less intelligent, obviously) before deciding on something barbed, but not a mortal wound. "I'm sure Mother also told you that you were the most handsome," began the older genius. "And yet Beckett exists before our very eyes. Tell me, what did the IQ test actually say?"

Myles was flabbergasted at his brother's insolence. To imply that Beckett was more aesthetically pleasing! The very thought of it! "170," he declared triumphantly, arms crossed.

Artemis genuinely laughed. It was degrading. Myles considered ending the call right there. "Only 170? Tell me, brother," began Artemis. "You haven't been blending your brain smoothies every day with a steel blender blade, have you?"

Myles paled. "Yes…"

Artemis shook his head in mock pity. "I'm so sorry, but I thought you knew."

Myles was panicked. "Knew what?!"

Artemis' picture began to fizzle out. "Got… use…" and then he was gone.

Myles exploded. "Use _what_?! What am I supposed to use?! _Brother_!" But it was no use. Artemis was gone.

It was at that moment that Beckett returned to the house, to find his brother screaming at a black screen. "Silly Myles," chided the boy. "What a simpleton."

* * *

**Space**

Artemis had to hold his sides, he was laughing so hard. Butler was beside him in the co-pilot chair, looking somewhat amused as well. To Butler, this was akin to roaring laughter.

Artemis finally calmed himself. "As amusing as that was, it may also have been the most important phone call of my life."

Butler raised an eyebrow. "You trust Myles' assertion that eternal life is possible?"

Artemis shook his head. "Not eternal, per se. Simply long enough to make everything worth it. If there's anything Myles is, it's methodical. If he says extra centuries are viable, there's no way the two of us working together can't make it work. And with my brief call to Holly, confirming she still carries the torch, every second we spend speeding to Mars is a great amount of time and resources wasted." He threw a switch on the console. "Strap in, old friend. I'm initiating all-stop."

"You're slamming on the brakes."

"That's what I said, yes."


	4. Chapter 4

**Haven City**

Holly knocked lightly on the ops booth door. Foaly buzzed her in within seconds.

The centaur was always happy to see her. Especially today. "Did you get my hoof cream?"

Holly didn't say a word, instead opting to slump down on Foaly's couch.

"Oh," he said, reading her mood. "No hoof cream. But something's happened. Something big. What is it? Do you want to talk about it? Please talk about it."

Holly looked at her oldest friend with bloodshot eyes. "Artemis is coming back."

Foaly frowned. "What, you mean, as in, _now_? He's been on his way to Mars for months. Incidentally, I can't fathom why he'd do that. My space probes found out everything there is to know about that rock. That is, before one of them came back and killed Raine, almost killed us, and then almost penetrated the dome of Atlantis, before killing a transport full of convicts. Which was my bad, by the way. Sorry. Are you okay?"

She splayed her hands out. "I don't know! It was a very weird call. He said he'd be back in three weeks."

Foaly ran some mental calculations. "That's impressive. Doable, but impressive. Don't tell him I said that, of course. What's going on?"

Holly ran a hand through her auburn fringe of hair, which had been growing out in much the same way as Artemis' beard in the past few months. "I think he intends us to, well…"

"Declare his undying love for you?" Foaly had been joking, already slapping his flank in laughter, when he caught Holly's cheeks becoming beet red. He suddenly remembered something. His eyes went wide. "Wait! I wasn't so far off, was I? Your _moment passionné _with Artemis Fowl, the one you never told me about. Does that have something to do with this? Oh, this is going to be so good on my web site." Foaly made air quotes. "I can see it now: 'The moonstruck mud boy lover descends from the heavens!' Tell me everything."

Holly's cheeks matched her hair and bloodshot eyes. She leapt from the couch, and jabbed a finger in the centaur's chest. "Don't even _think_ about it, pony boy! I'm dead serious. I'm coming to you in complete confidence, got it? Or else your budget is slashed next quarter."

Foaly raised his hands as if under arrest. "No problem, Commodore. I was _obviously _joking. So, what's the deal with you two? You still haven't told me."

Holly could have screamed, she was so exasperated. "Ugh! Shut your trap for _one second _and I'll explain it to you!"

Foaly zipped his lips and threw away the key. He gestured to the couch.

Holly sat back down. "Well. You see, it's really quite simple."

Foaly motioned for her to go on.

Holly fidgeted. "Well, there's really nothing to it."

Foaly couldn't resist, and unzipped his lips. "Well, I never! When you put it that way, just, _wow_! The world will be forever changed by this stupefying revelation!"

"I think he loves me, okay? You were right." she blurted.

Foaly cocked his head as if he hadn't heard her right. "I'm sorry, was this news to you?"

Holly looked scandalized. "And what would _you_ know of the matter? I thought you were joking!"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "Oh, I don't know. How about the eighteen dozen times he proclaimed his love for you in the arctic? Or that time he sacrificed his life to save yours? Or the fact his spirit grew orange roses while he waited for six months for us to resurrect him? Or the way that he kissed your face and told you that was the only way to get DNA to me, when in reality, there were thousands of hairs on his head and billions of blood cells he could have sent instead? How about the constant phone calls he's made to you over the years since, updating you on his climate work, his astronomy work, and his life in general?"

Holly looked sheepish. "Well, when you put it that way, yeah, I guess. But, we mutually and professionally decided to put this matter behind us, when he left. I don't get why he's coming back all of a sudden. It's as if he suddenly found the answer to all of our problems."

Foaly snickered. "You admit you return his affections, then."

She glared, with the weight of all her lifelong glaring expertise behind it.

Foaly shrugged, then itched his scalp and considered the situation logically. "We need to consider the situation logically," he said. "Disregarding whatever's up with _your_ feelings, what was, in his mind, the biggest reason not to, ah, pursue you? Size difference?" At Holly's continued glare, he moved on. "Lifespan?"

And then the penny dropped. Holly slapped her forehead. Foaly ran a hand down his long face. "Oh gods," muttered Holly. "Of _course _the timing isn't a coincidence. The little Fowl rascals encounter a man hell-bent on long life, who possibly found his answer, and now Artemis is returning, asking me if it would be worth his time."

"Okay… So, what's the problem?" ventured Foaly.

Holly made a fist. "I will _not _have Artemis experimenting on himself in some quest to live forever, so he can suddenly express his feelings for me."

"So, you're not happy he's coming back?"

"I didn't say that. Of course I'm happy he's coming back. We're friends. I'm going to be the first person to give him a hug when he lands. But 'A psychopath duke discovering the fountain of youth in a venom gland' should not be the reason he finally accepts his own feelings as legitimate."

"Well, it sounds kind of romantic, if you ask me," suggested the centaur. "Pioneering a breakthrough in modern science just to get a few more years with someone you love."

Holly sighed, relaxing into the couch as she considered her predicament. "No offence, Foaly, but you weren't so hot in the romance department yourself for the first couple of centuries of your life."

Foaly pouted. "Everyone's a critic."

* * *

**Villa Éco**

Beckett was having fun coloring outside the lines.

"Beck, please refrain from drawing on my laboratory counter," scolded Myles, shooing his brother away from his workstation. He was doing preliminary lab testing on Whistle Blower's venom, kindly provided by the Toy Ridgeback in exchange for a lab rat to snack on. The chemicals he could see under the microscope were quite interesting.

"Arty is coming home," proclaimed Beckett, proud to have such a nugget of information.

Myles did not look up from his microscope. "Yes, brother, I know. He told me too. And I would not say he is coming home, as his home has been donated to a co-op of farmers. He left before we moved here, remember? Instead, I would say that he is coming back to Earth, possibly to move into his _new _home."

"Whatever." Beckett had moved on to trying to draw on the troll. The troll thought the marker was a chew toy, and proceeded to shred it into oblivion. "I think that pretty fairy girl likes him."

"Specialist Heitz has not even met Artemis, so I would say that is most unlikely."

"Not Lazuli, you simpleton," scolded Beckett. "I'm talking about Nanni. The person Arty based her on."

Myles brushed away his absurd thoughts of Lazuli as being "pretty," and finally looked at his brother. "You mean Commodore Short? What makes you say that?" He could not deny that Beckett had at least _some _knowledge of social cues.

"My brain, of course!" Beckett giggled hysterically. "Get it? You asked what made me say it, and I said my brain! That's a science joke, right?"

"Very funny, Beck. Now. What makes you think Commodore Short likes our brother?"

"She said so," explained Beckett, as if it were obvious. At Myles' frown, he elaborated. "Not with her word words, but with her musical words, and her body words."

Myles racked his mighty brain for what Beckett could possibly mean. "Do you mean… inflection? And body language? Commodore Short's tone and posture indicated an attraction to our brother Artemis?"

Beckett nodded. "And during deep breathing, whenever someone said his name, she reacted in a kinda funny way."

Myles wagged a finger. "It was not _deep breathing,_ brother, it was a _debriefing._ And what do you mean by funny?"

Beckett shrugged. "Like whenever Dad talks about Mum."

Myles pondered this. _Interesting, _he thought. _Very interesting._

* * *

**Space**

Artemis was furiously punching numbers into the flight computer, calculating the best velocity and energy plan to return him to Earth.

Butler was reading a novel in the co-pilot chair. "What's perihelion mean?"

Artemis frowned at the interruption, as he knew that Butler knew better than to interrupt. "I can only hope that this is crucial information right now, and that you're only asking me in the midst of my computations because we are decidedly without easy access to internet search engines."

"Well, these characters are discussing how something significant is probably going to happen to a ship at perihelion."

"If an object orbiting a star has an elliptical orbit, it's the point in the orbit when it's closest to said star," explained Artemis curtly, going back to his work.

"Ah."

More typing and figuring.

A few minutes later: "Isn't that what happened to that Greek guy with wings?"

Artemis sighed, resigning himself to a discussion. He stared into space. "I don't suppose this still has to with your novel."

Butler committed his current page to memory, and closed the book. "Not exactly."

"I take it you are familiar with the tale of Icarus."

"Only from your various recountings over the years."

"I take it, then, that you are worried about my _flying too close to the sun, _as the colloquialism goes. Trust me, we won't crash into any stars. We'll have plenty of energy to brake when we reach Earth."

"That's not what I meant."

"I was afraid of that."

Butler sighed. "Artemis, look at me. Centuries of life. It's not something the human psyche is designed to take. I'm certainly not eager to volunteer myself."

Artemis did indeed look at his lifelong ally, with a sense of dread. "Elaborate."

"What I mean is, if you're going to shoot for the moon with this 500-year stay of life, I'm not coming with you this time. I'm already feeling like an old soul as is."

Artemis felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Not that he'd know what that felt like. Because Butler had always been there to protect him. Artemis didn't know what it would be like to not have that anymore. He almost choked. "Rubbish, old friend. You're on my payroll."

"Then I'm going to take a very long holiday leave some day."

Artemis shook his head, not accepting it. "I didn't save your life at En Fin, and then jump-start your heart after the time paradox, just for you to give up now."

Butler chuckled. "It's not right this minute. But in a couple more decades, well, look, don't be surprised. You would have naturally had to bury me some day anyway, even if you had an earthly lifespan."

Artemis breathed deeply. "There is another side to the tale of Icarus. The fool was also warned not to fly too low, lest his wings become damaged by the ocean." Artemis' eyes were desperate, searching for a way out of… something. "This is what I am currently in danger of, my friend. I am flying too low. I fear that much more time in this rocket, doing nothing of consequence, would drive me to ruin. I have no choice but to shoot for the sun. Therefore, you simply must accompany me."

Butler smiled fondly. "I endorse your efforts all the way, if what you say is true. If anyone can pull out of perihelion, and avoid burning up like Icarus, it's you." He reached an arm out to rest on his charge's shoulder. "I will gladly accompany you on Earth for the next twenty years or so, and I appreciate what you're hoping to accomplish with Holly, but that's just not my path."

On an impulse, Artemis engaged the artificial gravity on the bridge, and got out of his seat to be embraced by Butler's open arms. "I can't lose you, old friend. Not again."

Butler smiled a tearful smile. "I'll always be with you. Just put me on the hill with the orange roses... next to _you_."

Artemis, in Butler's arms, attempted a dry chuckle, but his watery eyes wouldn't let him. "The gravedigger's going to raise an eyebrow at that."

Butler lightly caressed Artemis' back. "You do have that effect on people."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Notes**

If all goes according to plan, there should be one more chapter after this. Again, thank you all for the unexpectedly positive reviews! They've kept me motivated to go on writing.

Without further ado, Chapter 5:

* * *

**Haven City, three weeks later**

Holly stormed into Trouble Kelp's office with a bone to pick. "Why haven't you cleared my visa? Artemis is landing, _tonight_."

Kelp saluted sarcastically. "Good morning to you too, Commodore."

Holly shook her head. "I don't have time for this, Commander. What gives?"

Kelp shrugged. "We're short-handed at the moment. I can't afford to let you take a vacation with the turf wars flaring up again, and with the fallout of the Fowl Twins ordeal. My hands are tied."

Holly paced furiously, then wheeled on him. "Look, Trouble. The turf wars are _always _flaring up. Either you let me go for 24 hours, and be down one fairy for that duration, or I go without your permission, and you're down an entire Retrieval squad for however long it takes to catch me."

Trouble's violet eyes flickered with annoyance. "I wonder if perhaps the Council promoting you was the right choice. You're not making it easy to work with you, Short."

"Then it should be no great loss for you to not have to work with me for the next 24 hours. Clear my visa." Her mismatched eyes bore into his soul, daring him to refuse.

No one said a word for a long moment. Their little staring match was interrupted, however, by Foaly on the intercom. "Hey Commander, did I leave my pink stylus in there? I borrowed it from Caballine and she'd be heartbroken if I were to lose it."

The two elves found middle ground in their shared annoyance at Foaly's constant whinnying. They both reached for the button at the same time, their hands touching. Holly drew her hand back, uncomfortable at the contact.

Trouble looked at her curiously as he answered Foaly. "No stylus in here, Foaly. Call Howler's Peak. We've just started rolling out the literacy program for the goblin prisoners and it might've been mixed up with the LeapToad tablets."

Foaly cursed. "I'll check with them, thanks. Oh, by the way! Wouldn't you know it, Commander. Word has just come down from the Council that they want Commodore Short to be on-site in Ireland to debrief Artemis Fowl on his astronomical discoveries. And to ensure his safe landing, him being an ally and all that. Who knew?" And then he was gone.

Kelp frowned. "Well, that settles that. Take one of those newfangled Neutrinos on your way out of the city."

Holly scoffed. "Is that really necessary?"

"It's Fowl," he offered, feeling that to be explanation enough.

"My point exactly."

He looked suspiciously between his hand and hers, where they had touched when reaching for the intercom. After a moment, he sighed, and dismissed her. Crazy girly commodore.

* * *

**Earth orbit, that evening**

"Prepare for descent, Butler."

"Does that mean I am to stay in my chair, strapped in like I have been all day?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm prepared."

* * *

**Villa Éco**

Holly stood with Myles and Beckett on the porch of the Fowl residence, squinting at the sky for any sign of Artemis. Artemis Senior and Angeline were out of town, as Artemis Junior had decided to keep his return a surprise. That, and he didn't want to deal with his mother's worrying over his re-entry.

Holly marveled at the twins' almost two-foot height advantage, wondering where the time had gone. Just yesterday, they were toddlers possessed by ancient fairy warriors.

"Look!" cried Beckett. "Phoenix!"

Holly glanced in the direction the boy was pointing, to see a fiery object streaking through the sky. It reminded her a little too much of Koboi, reborn with nuclear fire and descending upon the world. The fiery streak got closer as the minutes ticked by, and no one dared to look away, lest something catastrophic happen and they miss it.

"Should it still be on fire like that?" asked Holly.

Myles cleared his throat. "There are an enormous amount of variables involved. It could be completely normal, or they could be dead inside."

Beckett cried in anguish at the thought, and Holly kicked Myles' shin. "Not helpful," she growled.

"Look! He's okay!" called Beckett, pointing up at the rocket ship that was no longer on fire from re-entry.

"He could still be dead, just not on fire," pointed out Myles, massaging his shin. Holly was about to kick the other shin, but then she heard faint radio chatter coming from Myles' glasses. The boy cleared his throat, and replied. "Artemis Fowl, this is Myles Fowl broadcasting from Villa Éco, do you copy?" broadcast Myles.

"Arty?" added Beckett.

"…coming in… still on target, should be… stay back, though."

Holly smiled at the thought of seeing Artemis again. Yes, she had to have a long and possibly painful conversation with him, but seeing him in the flesh would give her great relief. After some of Number One's stories about his own moon mission, she had been worried about the mud man more than she would have admitted.

A few minutes later, the Interstellar's gold sheen was clearly visible as the craft manoeuvred to land on the beach. Holly guessed that a good amount of that flying was thanks to the auto-pilot, knowing Artemis to not be so graceful at the stick. He had crashed at least two planes on their adventures, after all. The fact that she had crashed a similar amount of shuttles was beside the point.

Without incident, the rocket oriented itself upright, and slowly touched down on the beach about three hundred metres away. The revolutionary craft emitted no traditional fumes (bad for the environment and also unsafe, he had said), but there was still a good deal of wind and sand flurrying around the ship as it touched down with a mushing sound on the wet beach. Holly had not even attempted to understand how the thing worked.

The Interstellar's gold-plated solar panels (which still no one had given Artemis a medal, or even a certificate for) caught the evening sun fantastically. The rocket was unscathed after re-entry, looking quite picturesque as it sat on the beach, and Holly couldn't help but stare at the gold on the ship a little longer than necessary.

The hatch opened, and out stepped Artemis. He looked exhausted, even from this distance. He took one step away from the rocket, and immediately fell flat on his face.

Holly laughed, and ran all the way across the beach to help him up. "Gravity" he explained, as Holly got him into a sitting position.

"Let me help. We get this problem sometimes when we use moon belts. Number One developed a technique to treat it magically. Conveniently, this gave Foaly an excuse to make an even more efficient, nauseating moonbelt."

Artemis nodded, struggling to breathe. He felt like he was being crushed by the planet. Holly placed her hands on his temples, and breathed some word in Gnommish that he didn't have the mental capacity to translate at the moment.

Slowly but surely, it was if she was restoring equilibrium to the balance fluid in his skull, and adjusting his paltry muscles to normal gravity at the same time, with blue sparks dancing around the contact.

Artemis smiled at her when she pulled away. "It is as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders," he quipped.

No sooner had he made the joke than Butler dragged himself out of the rocket in a heap. He too, could not stand to stand.

Myles and Beckett approached the rocket's crew at their own paces. Beckett sprinted, and leapt into his big brother's arms, laughing and smiling. Holly got out of the way, and moved on to Butler, magically easing his transition into life with gravity. "That's another one I owe you, Captain… Commodore," groaned Butler, massaging his muscles.

"Who's counting?" Holly shrugged.

Myles strolled to the landing site as dignified as he possibly could on the sand, and shook hands with his older brother. "Welcome back to Earth, Doctor Fowl. Much has taken place since your departure. And your flight suit is covered is sand."

"I did hear that a lot had happened," said Artemis, trying vainly to brush the sand off his clothes. "I am glad you two are safe. And I have much to discuss with all of you in turn." He glanced meaningfully at Holly, who nodded. "But for now, how about shared dinner? We haven't eaten real food in seven months."

Myles scoffed. "Beckett hasn't eaten real food in all his life."

* * *

**Inside**

As Holly, Butler, and Beckett made their way to the dining room, Myles pulled Artemis aside, in the hallway, to have a word. "Brother," he began. "I have an important question."

Artemis smiled curiously. "Yes?" Maybe it was a question about a discovery he had made in space. Maybe Myles was curious as to his experience.

"Do you think you have returned for the right reasons?" asked the younger Fowl.

Artemis was taken aback. So much for admiration. "What are you talking about?"

"Beckett informs me that there is potential attraction between you and Commodore Short. Ordinarily, I do not take Beckett's word for anything, but it is consistent with the facts. You rushed back to the planet only _after_ learning about a potential lifespan extension method. Elves generally live longer than humans."

Artemis could not help but beam. His little brother was as sharp as a tack. However… "Myles, I don't see the problem. Help me out here."

Myles registered surprise. "You don't see the problem? You are letting your emotions get in the way of scientific pursuits. You are here now to assist in studying the troll attributes, but at the great expense of potential other gains on Mars. Even in your first week in space, you discovered Luna Minor, whose qualities measurably affect global tides and therefore countless lives."

Artemis spared a moment to gloat, leaning against the hall wall smugly. "Oh, _now _you admit my discovery while in lunar orbit is significant. Better late than never, I suppose."

Myles tut-tutted. "Brother, that is beside the point once again. Your choice to pursue longer life has been decided based on very unscientific reasoning."

Artemis sighed, and peered into the kitchen, where Holly and Beckett were making the most glorious of messes while putting together a fruit salad. They giggled and laughed together at every new fruit juice stain. Butler sat at the buffet, smiling contently. Artemis caught his eye, and the larger man winked.

Artemis pulled himself back into the hallway to place his hands on Myles' shoulders, and stare intently into his eyes. "Myles, listen well," he began. "When one makes a hard decision based on emotion, it is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. To wall up your emotions, to try to live as man of logic and science only? This is, conversely, not strength. It is weakness. I sincerely apologise that Father and I have not been around as much as we should have been, to teach you these things that we ourselves both learned only after years of hardship. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make a mess of our kitchen, and enjoy the company of my dearest companions. You are free to join us." And with that, Artemis strode into the kitchen.

It was quite a scene.

"I can't tell, is this art class, or culinary class?" joked Artemis, examining a sculpture made of mashed fruit by Beckett.

"Interstellar," beamed the boy.

Artemis' eyes widened. "Wow, that's very good, Beck. A _tasteful_ piece."

Holly groaned. "If you start to make puns like that every day, well, let me tell you…" she began. But Artemis' gentle expression as he took in Holly and Beckett disarmed her. "I'd cherry-ish every single one of them," she finished.

Butler snorted at Holly's joke. Myles, having collected himself, strode in then, and took a seat at the buffet next to Butler. He nodded. "An appropriate reaction," he stated, snorting as well.

Artemis eyed his genius brother meaningfully, and wondered as to his disposition. Would Myles ever soften up? Would it take years of molding by close friends and allies?

Myles returned Artemis' look. The other inhabitants of the room could sense that there was something going unsaid. Finally, Myles relaxed his vampirish cheekbones. "I apologise. Artemis' puns are just so tedious to en_durian_. Or, to employ Beckett's vernacular, they stink."

Artemis smiled smugly. "A well-laid wordplay, brother, with many layers."

Beckett brightened up. "Like an onion!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Author notes:**

Hello! The final chapter is finally here! I truly apologize for the delay. I just kept getting distracted, and then when I would sit down to write, it would suck, and I knew the final chapter had to be the best it could be. This is the third rewrite, by my count. It still isn't perfect. But it's the best I can do with my current skills and sensibilities.

I was inspired to buckle down and finish this baby by the recent developments in the fandom: the cover and synopsis and release date for Fowl Twins 2, and now the new trailer for the movie, which looks like a blast! I'm overjoyed that this universe is getting expanded in such big ways lately. I couldn't be happier that my story will become obsolete after Fowl Twins 2, because it means there's new Fowl novels releasing! I look forward to continuing to be a part of this fandom as inevitably gets more active this year. I was also motivated to finish this by reading Timmy Failure, a great little kid's book series that happened to have an excellent bit of symbolism, an extended metaphor, that I could borrow for the emotional climax here. And I was determined not to let this sit unfinished for any longer, because it always sucks when a fic you like gets abandoned.

I shall endeavor in the future to have entire stories written before publishing chapter one, to avoid delays like this. That is, if I write more. I would certainly like to. The overwhelmingly positive comments here have meant the world to me. To be told that my writing is "like Colfer himself wrote it" absolutely floored me. Thank you! I certainly don't entirely agree with that sentiment myself, but I was so happy to see comments like it. This community is the best. I hope I don't let you down.

Without further ado, the final chapter:

.

* * *

**Inside**

As the night wore on, the five friends and family members enjoyed each other's company immensely, but eventually some had to retire.

Butler was the first to declare that he couldn't stay awake any longer. He was sure to remind everyone, as always, that he was not as young as he used to be. Artemis, in turn, was sure to point out, as always, that the amount of time Butler regularly spent saying such things had probably taken up an extra year of his life by now.

Then, when Beckett's exhausted face dropped into his food (unintentionally, for once), Myles deduced that it was bedtime for the twins as well.

This left Artemis and Holly sitting awkwardly at the grandiose dining table. Artemis chuckled. "You'd think we were in a retirement home. People going to bed at nine. How is one to scheme if one is asleep?"

Holly gave him a _really? _look. "Aren't you the one who pioneered how to do just that?"

"Well, obviously, I was referring to Myles. The poor genius hasn't figured out how to do it yet. I am, on the other hand, perfectly capable of scheming at all hours of the day."

Holly crossed her arms, and sighed. "There's a certain scheme of yours we need to talk about, by the way."

Artemis nodded, mock seriously. "Indeed. Shall I have Butler fetch the elephant gun?" At her confused glance, he added: "To nab the elephant in the room, of course."

She punched his arm. "Artemis! To even joke about ivory poaching…!"

"I know, I know, poor taste. I apologise." He rubbed his arm, and attempted a smooth segue. "However, speaking of taste, this house's air is uncomfortably reminiscent of the recycled air in the Interstellar. How would you feel about joining me on the beach?"

Holly nodded, satisfied with the suggestion. "Any excuse to breathe the cool night Ireland air, is fine with me." They both stood as one. She peered up at him. "You seem taller."

"Space," he explained. "I should lose the extra inch over time, though."

She digested this as she watched him take their plates to the kitchen. "And then you'll only be, what, two feet four taller?"

Artemis halted mid-motion at the counter. "Even among humans, there are frequently similar differences. Human dwarves exist. But I would have thought we'd not be hung up on such a..." He tried to find an appropriate, non-demeaning word. "...trivial detail." He resumed placing their plates into the self-cleaning sink.

Holly shrugged. "Fair enough. It's certainly not our primary concern."

The sink spoke in a familiar voice. "Shall I begin wash, or is there more to come?"

"Run cycle," Artemis instructed.

Holly, of course, recognized Nanni's voice, and rolled her eyes. She put on a mockery of Artemis' voice. "_'Finally she will have some intelligence,'_ indeed," she snorted. "Look. Intelligent Holly is doing the dishes. You have all you need out of life."

Artemis went beet red, and pointed at a glass door that led out to the island's beach. "Shall we?"

* * *

**Dalkey Island Coastline**

The moon was full, and illuminated the coastline beautifully as Artemis and Holly walked parallel to the water. Two sets of footprints stretched back to the house. The pair chatted amiably.

Artemis, walking on the inside path relative to the coast, closer to the water, soon realized with some disdain that his trail of footprints was below the high tide mark. Holly's was a couple of meters further inland, safe from the sea's grasp in the immediate future. With the high tide coming in, Mother Nature would claim his tracks, but not hers.

Artemis stopped to ponder the tracks that lay behind them. Holly tracked his train of thought, and looked up with some concern at her human. "It doesn't mean anything," she assured him.

Artemis turned from her and knelt down on the sand, just a couple meters from the water. "It's us, Holly. And I've finally found a way for it to work." He began erecting a wall out of sand to protect his footprints from the encroaching tide.

"Hey," she objected. She walked around to his frontside to try to make eye contact. "Back up the hovertrolley."

Artemis looked briefly at Holly, who he found to be at eye level, since he was kneeling. "Beckett encouraged me to work with my hands more," he explained. And he went back to erecting his wall.

Holly pinwheeled her arms. "Hello?! Earth to mud man? We need to talk about this. You can't just make declarations of 'oh, we're finally free of all our worries' without some, I don't know, context, explanation, and consultation?"

Artemis, satisfied that his wall would protect a few of his past footsteps, finally made eye contact. "I don't understand your reservations," he explained.

Holly sighed. "Artemis, why did you leave?"

He shifted on his knees awkwardly. "Don't you remember our conversation in the barn? Before I left?"

Holly scoffed. "Of course I remember it. I remember it vividly. I remember it as the epitome of burying your head in the sand." She stomped her foot deep into the damp sand, for effect.

"Wait. I recall you agreeing with me, and parting on mutually beneficial terms," he protested.

"If by mutually beneficial, you mean that you stuck your head in the sand and I let you get away with it, then yeah. But it's not happening again."

Artemis absent-mindedly put a little more sand on his wall. He noticed the waves were coming a little higher now. "Well," he began. "You asked me why I left. But it sounds like you already think you know."

Holly thought back to her conversation the other day with Foaly, how he had pointed out that Artemis loves her. "I know the underlying cause, but the thing is, now you've come back. Nothing has changed on my end, and, I know you. You don't do things for no reason."

Artemis gulped. "Therefore you know that something changed on my end. Yes. And I think you know what it is. Myles and I are going to be working on it together, in fact. Brother-bonding exercise." He tried to spin it positively.

Holly scooped a handful of sand and chucked it into the water. "D'Arvit, Artemis! I knew it!"

Artemis readjusted to sit on his behind, not caring about the sand on his clothes. He called to Holly, who was now off kicking water around like it would do any good. "Holly, it's nothing but good news! We can finally live a normal life together! That is, if you're still carrying the torch like I hope you are."

Holly ceased her kicking, and breathed deeply in a way the LEP handbook said would be calming. It wasn't. She marched back to him. "You have got to get it through that thick skull of yours. You don't qualify relationships in terms of future events not even a soothsayer's phlegm pot could foresee!"

"I don't understand," he replied honestly.

"We've got to live in the here and now," she explained. "My whole life, people have been telling me how 'oh, I'd better not do _this_, and I'd better stay out of _that_, because oh, darling, this and that will bring you great pain in some arbitrary amount of decades from now!'" Holly mock-swooned. She pressed on. "I've had so many gatekeepers in my life. Beachwood, Sool, Trouble. All the Haven City councilmen. Don't be on that list, Arty. Please."

Artemis looked regretful. He glanced over to his sand wall. The waves were getting closer. He sighed. "You don't want me to hinge our relationship on experimental troll venom properties." It wasn't a question. And once he had said it, it even sounded foolish to him.

"Yes. I'm begging you, please drop it. At least for now. After the incident with your brothers, the LEP archivists looked into the subject. Turns out, it's come up over the years. And... it never ends well."

Artemis was touched, but... "I appreciate your concern, Holly. But still, to tell a man of science to drop a pursuit… And what about us?"

Holly closed the distance between them. She put her hands on his cheeks. "Artemis…" she began. "I'm just going to say it. I love you. I have for years. I should have said it in the barn."

Artemis smiled the most heartfelt smile that Holly had ever seen on him. "I love you too."

She dropped her hands from his person, feeling less warm and fuzzy than him. "But, Arty. That being said, if we're going to try to make this work, it won't be because of some biological experiment. I want to try to make this work just as we are now, just as _you_ are now. It's not about stifling scientific pursuits. It's about being true to who we are. Man and elf, remember?"

Artemis felt moisture in his eyes, which for perhaps the first time in his life, he wasn't going to blame on environmental factors. "But…" he attempted.

Holly cut him off. "Along the way, if qualified professionals, human or fairy, come up with medically sound ways to give us more time, that's great, but it's not the linchpin here. I don't want to risk losing you. And not just to experimental harm either, but also to the obsessive pursuit of such things. People have lost their minds to far less."

Artemis thought back to all the crazed individuals he and his friends and family had encountered over the years. Holly had a point.

She continued, "I want you to promise me we'll move forward as mortals, for the time being. Can you do that?"

Artemis searched deep within his soul, for he knew this had to be an honest answer. Not just because he was done lying to Holly, but because he had to know for himself. He had turned his ship around, which now sat on the beach not far from them, on the promise of being able to avoid the lifespan problem. He didn't want her to lose him when she was still young. If she truly loved him, the pain his death would cause might be too much to bear. He didn't want the world to be without Holly Short on his account. It was perhaps an arrogant assumption to make that she'd follow him, but even if she was fine, and moved on, after his death, it would still suck.

But with her leaving the door open for life-prolonging steps down the road, and the way humans age slower when married to fairies anyways, as he had seen with Turnball and Leonor… And when he considered it, the way she wanted him to be safe like few others had, the way she wanted him just the way he was… There was only one answer.

In the corner of his eye, Artemis noticed the ocean's water recede farther than it yet had, in preparation for a wave.

After the long few moments that Holly graciously allowed him to ponder, he said simply: "I can."

The ocean sent the high wave. It washed over Artemis' sand wall, completely eroding it.

Holly smiled. "You promise?"

He took her hands in his. "I promise," he declared. Internally, a switch flipped. This was the end of his obtuse scheming and calculating when it came to Holly. No experimenting on the side, no fretting over life insurance or his eventual death. He could never break his word, or else the entire point of his life right now would be moot. It was honesty and clarity from here on out.

Holly moved in, and tentatively kissed her Arty. He enthusiastically returned the kiss, and then so did she, sealing the deal further. "I'm glad," she whispered.

"I love you," he stated earnestly. He found himself relieved to be able to say it out loud with no qualifications.

"I love you too, Arty," she said.

They spent a good amount of time then, just enjoying the moment, enjoying sharing the same breathing space.

Holly broke the silence. "Lie with me."

"Uh…?"

"Stargaze with me. Tell me everything about your voyage ad astra. It'll be like a, well, a date.

"Ah. Yes. I'd be delighted. I suppose you _are _supposed to be debriefing me." Artemis got up, and followed her to higher ground. He did not look back to see if the waves had claimed his footsteps yet. It wasn't important anymore.

Holly lay against a slope. Artemis followed her down, and put an arm around her. Under the moon, he observed her features in a new light. And yet it was also the same light as he had first observed her in, almost 15 years ago now. _Ironically_, he thought, _she looks exactly the same. A couple more signs of action, maybe. Hair is a little longer. And she's much happier. But still beautiful. _

Holly, of course, noticed his fond gaze. She reached up and squeezed his hand that was around her shoulder.

Artemis knew he would have decades at the least to study that same face, and so he reluctantly moved his gaze to the night sky. He tried to think of something interesting, but still felt Holly's eyes on him. He looked back to her.

She looked a trifle sheepish. "I just think it's funny how the moon makes your skin look even whiter," she offered. Before Artemis could chuckle too much, she pointed to the sky. "Tell me about something."

Artemis looked upwards with her, content. He searched for a spell for something suitably interesting, before pointing to a slightly reddish dot in the sky. "Well, since you asked, something _very_ intriguing is happening with Betelgeuse..."

They stayed like that for hours, under the full moon. Eventually, the sun came to take its place, to signal not just the start of a new day… but a new life.

* * *

**The End**


End file.
